My hometown is a shithole, full of people who don’t give a shit and just want to get shitfaced.

When you’re surrounded by shit, you see it everywhere. I decided to use this, to see my problems as shit. Like, actual shit.

In a nutshell, everyone has shit and everyone’s shit is different.

You prefer your own shit to other people’s- that’s just the rule.

Shit builds up and then it hurts. You need to get it out so take oral laxative.

Normally you can handle your shit, but sometimes you can’t and that’s alright.


Other people’s shit is next level shit.

You might notice when someone else’s shit builds up, suggest oral laxative.

WARNING: Side effects may include verbal diarrhoea (Dare I say, talking shit?)


Sometimes people get covered in shit. It happens to us all.

When it happens to a friend what do you do?

Do you leave them in the shit?

Shit’s gross… but they’re a mate.

If you dive in and clean them up, you helped this time, but now you’re covered in shit and you’re expected to do the same next time.

Instead, teach them to clean the shit themselves (think that ‘teach a man how to fish’ saying but replace fish with shit, specifically, how to get over shit).

At first you might get a bit on you but it’ll easy wash off.


When it keeps happening though, when they’re repeatedly stinking up your head house, you need to ask why.

Why do they keep getting covered in shit?

If they’re getting covered in other people’s shit, then your advice is easy.

For important people, again oral laxative, for unimportant people- fuck ‘em off.


People, unless they’re kinda weird, don’t want to be covered in shit.

So, when they keep getting covered in their own shit, they’re probably sick, or going to be.

In this case, you don’t want to end up in their shit or you’ll get sick too and then you can’t do much to help.

You can help though.


You can tell them how to get out of the shit, it’s easier to see a solution without shit in your eyes.

Be careful though, someone covered in shit does not want a lecture.

Best advice?

Remind them that everyone gets shit from time to time, it’s alright.

Shit happens and they won’t always be covered in shit.

Shit is shit. It’s natural and it’s part of life. No-one likes it.

When you’re in the shit the only thing you want to do is get out.

Shit is too rude to talk about at the dinner table- find people who will.


My hometown is a shithole and I love it.

The flowers lining the roads and brightening the roundabouts grew from shit.

There’s a beauty to (sh)it and we often forget that.

On the theme of shit, some last advice.

Own your shit. Don’t talk shit. Don’t take shit. Give a shit. Don’t give a shit. Be the shit.

Who knew shit could be so articulate?


4 thoughts on “Shit.

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